Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Worldwide Wednesday/Hurricane Katrina

In light of the recent catastrophe...I've been glued to the news for images and reports.

For me? Hurricane Katrina began on Sunday afternoon, while basking in the afterglow of a near perfect date in and with "Harlem". If I don't go to church on Sunday, I listen to Kiss Fm for the Open Line news program and watch CNN. I was reclining on the couch and my phone rings. It's C ringing in from Memphis and this is how the convo went:

Diva: Hey dog, there a big hurricane coming in down south. Yall heard the news?
C: Naw, you know we don't get no fucking news here.
Diva: How come u get MTV and not CNN? (Silence) Well shit, this thing is big. The red circle is enormous. They talking 'bout it's gonna wipe out New Orleans.
C: New Orleans? The city?
Diva: No, the country. Yeah the city!
C: That's a big city
Diva: Yeah man
C: Ain't that where them Cash Money Boys is from? And uhh what's his name. "Make you say UGH"
Diva: Yeah Master P. The weird thing is they keep showing the diagram of the city and how it could potentially flood. Like why would anybody build a city between two levies? That makes no sense to me. Like it was meant to flood.
C: Levies?
Diva: (realizing I would have to explain the concept of levies to her while she's in a Jeep with 3 kids) Simply put...they put it between a lake and a river.
C: Well that was stupid.
Diva: I know. They talking about evacuation.
C: You know what? They say that shit all the time and don't nothing happen. Look how many times they put them people out of Florida.
Diva: I know. Spending all that money in gas..... driving. (Gas is now a touchy subject)
C: Yeah gas is high as hell!

How many of you thought the same thing when you first heard it was coming?

I wish that we were right and the evidence of the destruction was wrong.

We now know that it was serious. It looked like a tsunami hit.

C doesn't have any power in the house because of the hurricane. And she's in Memphis, TN. The Electric Company worker told her that it would take a week for working power in the house. All the way to work, there were no working street lights. There were reports of disoriented elderly roaming the streets in the area where she lives. I can only imagine what those people further South in New Orleans and MS are going through.

I really feel for them and my prayers are constantly buzzing in the Lord's ear.

Please send up a couple yourselves.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Touchy Tuesdays/Threesomes

Last week Tuesday..I was cranky. Seems like I'm feeling a little 'motional on some stuff again today.

Disclaimer: This is a touchy subject. And I may say some shit you don’t like.

*Dimming the light*

I want to talk about threesomes today. Actually, Big Momma Lue and I were talking about it yesterday. The conversations that I have with my mother and grandmother have morphed into pseudo-friendship-y types of subjects. Sex, Men, Marriage are now discussed freely with no discretion because I’m “Little Diva” LOL. Nah…now they let it all out. However, I am smarter than they think. I ain't that crazy...They are not gonna make me slip up and tell them something I really know they don’t want to hear. Then I get cursed out…or inspire a long prayer session. I don’t know which one is more embarrassing lol…

Me and Mom talking about threesomes. And we died laughing when we both said simultaneously, “maybe with two men.” LMAO…How my momma gonna say that? But seriously? The reason for this post?


Don’t Even Fucking Think About Asking Me!

Sorry, I had to curse…but shit is serious and quite touchy.

I attribute my feeling this way to 3 main factors.

I’m selfish.
I am not gay.
I am that woman you can take home.

Now feel me on this.

“I’m selfish”
I don’t share food. If you see me giving someone something off my plate?…Look twice. It may be the last time you’ll ever see something like that. I hate to share my food. I had to learn to do it with the twins. And I may have slipped someone I was digging a piece here and there...But you’ll still see things like separate ice cream in my freezer. You’ll see me cringe at someone sipping off of my drink. Nah...just go on and drink it!... You could mess around and catch some herpes simplex 80 from that. A girl in my school bit my hamburger, and though I was starving that day, I took one look at the oozing sore above her pretty lip, and told her she could have it. At least I could see the germs that day…Imagine if I was the sharing kind? Now, if you ask me for a threesome, you are expecting me to share food. Something that I’m eating….Not gonna happen. If I’m giving a professional, I’m certainly not gonna share the meal with someone else. Are you kidding me? The germs alone!!!!!! Do you know that your mouth is the nastiest place on your body? Cue up the visual picture: Her Lips? My Lips? Hell no! I don’t kiss a lot of people. Mom, Twins, hmmmm…no I don’t kiss very many people. Well, I was about to reveal more so I’ll stop here LOL

"I’m Not Gay"

Look. I’ve said it before. I don’t have a problem with those who are gay. Whatever floats your boat and all that jazz. But me? Nah..I’ve never had an interest in other boobies or coochies (but that’s a whole ‘nother post). I’ve been out and complimented other women. “You can find something nice to say to anybody you see”: is my motto. If a female looks nice…or you can tell she put a little extra time in….Give her the props! However, my thoughts while gazing at the well-heeled, well-dressed, well-coifed female, are not “Damn, look at that rack, I wonder if she knows her nipples are showing, Oooh I wanna suck one”. I have absolutely no desire for other breasts. Female or male. I like my own. I’ve had them for over 20 years now and we have grown into quite a trio. A threesome introduces objects too similar to my own…and quite frankly I don’t think they’ll take too kindly to the situation. Being the jealous pair that I know they are…They might revolt or some shit if their affections were usurped by another pair of boobs. LOL (Maybe that should have been included with the selfish part) No, but seriously… I have all of the equipment…if you need more than that? Check into a rehab…Cause you’re overdosing.

"I’m the woman you can take home."
Like I said …this is my personal opinion…you can agree or disagree…but a man can’t look me in the face and tell me that he loved his woman more because she gave him a threesome. Hell no. He’ll be looking at her cockeyed when it’s time to “meet the family”. I also believe that although men may say they want one…if Tasha was riding his face while Tisha was on his dizzle today?….Chances are come Thanksgiving?.. He’ll be taking Renee home to meet Moms because she told his ass no! So no...I ain't sleeping with you and another chick...That would make me a side chick...and I would never settle for that...bad shit could happen to you...Karma and all that....I mean you could still try and make me a side chick...but the date wouldn't last long enough for you to ask me some crazy mess like that. Shoot...those people end up on Jerry and Maury. (I been home too long this summer)

Now I could be wrong in all of this…Hell I’m human. But I’m feeling a little touchy today…It’s Tuesday.

If a man were to ask me something like that once, I may let it slide…Twice…or even try to introduce another party into the equation? Yo…I’m running. Like that Terry Fox, the one legged man who ran across Canada with a prosthetic leg (True story…Me and C watched the movie)…I’m hauling ass…cause that is no man that I need to be around.

*Turning the light off*

Monday, August 29, 2005

20 Bits on the VMA's/ Mixtape Mondays

I had a nice weekend. I have to come up with a new name...I'm leaning toward "Harlem".

Please read the disclaimer above. Club Diva allows GENTLEMENS ONLY...Needed to shine some "light" on that...

I begin my Graduate classes today. I'm psyched!

Check out Mixtape Mondays on DJ Diva Reviews. I had to take it back to the 90's. Try not to snap your neck thinking about it. and yes these songs can be yours...Holla!

I had to do 20 Bits on the VMA's. This year it was hosted by Puffy, or P. Diddy...or whatever the F he's calling himself now... I've done 20 Bits before.....remember?

Diva's 20 Bits

1. I love my new couch. I get to enjoy the surround-sound and big screen now. Yeah Babeee…
2. Diddy is not funny. Diddy cannot dance.
3. Sean Combs from Esplanade Gardens on 146th Street really needs to stop it! His boys are already emulating their father.
4. Bring back Beavis & Butthead! “I am Cornolio…welcome to my bunghole” …hehehehe
5. It was nice to see Alicia Keys, Ursher and them Black Eye Peas stand up for Hammer. Hammer tried to work it out. Hammer's gonna need one of them Ben Gay patches (I want one too.)
6. The mens looked nice. Dressed up.But they all looked like versions of Kanye West. Except for Don Juan…he needs the pimp gear back.
7. R Kelly is crazy as a loon. Chuck, Rufus and Kathy. Why did we need a new chapter?
8. I like The Killers. I put them on my White Birthday mix LOL. Black folks used their performance as a bathroom break LOL. I must have a thing for lead singers who wear black eyeliner. Green Day, Prince, Kanye…wow
9. Little Kim tried to fix her face. But she can’t close her lips. She reminds me of The Joker in Batman.
10. “I guess he got that #1 spot” Luda!!! I love him.
11. I just realized there is no category for Best Gospel Video. Then I remembered they don’t play Gospel Videos. Ever..... I’m just saying…
12. The Notorious B.I.G. over an orchestra. Nice! I want a pop off between Omarion and Ursher...not Omarion and Diddy!
13. Common looked good. No nappy beard, no long multicolored ratty scarf. His clothes even matched. He couldn’t see shit under that hat.
14. Did Fat Joe get at Fiddy? “I want to say thank you for all this police protection, thanks to G-Unit”. There were some chants of “Fuck Fat Joe”. Did you hear it?
15. ColdPlay. Another bathroom break for yall. Joy for me! They were on last week’s mixtape. Their music is ethereal.
16. I’m glad Kelly Clarkson won. She didn’t know where to go…such a newbie.. lol
17. How did Jamie Foxx end up naked? But he looked good…He had more fun then Kanye during Golddigger. The dance was cute though…
18. 50’s ass was on fire in them hot leather pants in a ring of fire. Who came up with that one? His muscles have gotten bigger. (C stop dreaming about him!)…I got up to make another Mango Rum and OJ..turned around and Fat Joe got cursed out. 50 and Tony Yayo looked like idiots.
19. Were the umbrellas during My Chemical Romance’s performance…curtesy of Farnsworth Bentley?? Where was he?
20. This ish was wack...I shoulda watched Rome on HBO..

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Cam'ron shoots Suge Knight in Miami

Maybe.....Well all they said on CNN was the shooter was a black male with a pink shirt. Black male + Pink= Cam'ron. You put it together. More info not to follow. But strangely? I'm glad. Somebody needs to take his ass out! One of these black preachers needs to pull a Pat Robertson. (but we forgot about that already right?)

Suge needs to switch careers. He is no longer wanted or needed in the music community.

Police arrived on the scene immediately and found 40-year-old Knight, alone and lying on the floor and writhing in pain. He had been shot once in the left leg.

Here's the story.

Friday, August 26, 2005

My First Meme..

I tagged myself from Xquizzty1. So here it is... my first meme. Is it TMI? Sassywow...You've been tagged!

A is for Age – 32..
B is for Beverage – “Sex in Shower”, Hennessy, Grey Goose and Cranberry juice. Can only have one and half. LOL
C is for Career – Learning is my career. Seriously..I ‘ll be taking classes for the rest of my life no matter what I end up doing (Professor/Writer)
D is for Dad’s name – Felix Antonio
E is for Essential items to bring to a party – DJ Diva Mixtapes. I can’t show up without one…
F is for Favorite song at the moment – “You Know What” by Avant and Little Wayne...straight sexy... wait...Faithful by Common...or Music by Leela James...Dammit you can't ask me questions like that...I'm a DJ!!!
G is for Goof off thing to do - Read blogs, IM and email. LOL *I guess u could tell*
H is for Hometown – I’m so Harlem, I was born in Harlem Hospital. 6th floor.
I is for Instrument you play – Violin, and the recorder. Hell yeah I'm claiming the recorder. Hot Cross Buns Nuccas!
J is for Jam or Jelly you like – I like Jelly..hehehe
K is for Kids – Tatyana and Tyara. Yeah... Twins. Yeah... I’ll probably do it again. Trystan and Tytan if I have boys LOL
L is for Living arrangement - 2 bedroom, 1 bath.. big ass apt. With Backyard. Good for the city. My kids play on no one’s curb.
M is for Mom’s name – Big Momma Lue (she reads the blog) *sucking my teeth muttering censor*
N is for Names of best friends – Man listen..I have too many…but maybe I need to leave one of yall out to see if you’ll holla LOL
O is for overnight hospital stays – Burn Surgery at 2, Birth of the twins
P is for Phobias – Small Dizzles
Q is for Quote you like – “Beauty fades, but stupid lasts forever” I may think I’m cute…but I know I’m smarter. Or smart. Or whatever..
R is for Relationship that lasted longest – “The Slanging Midget” 5 years…but then again..some still think we in one…lol
S is for Siblings – Younger twin brothers. Felix and Antonio. One of them has twins too..and my grandfather is a twin too. We shoot doubles in my family.
T is for Texas , Ever been? – Nah…wait...nah...
U is for Unique trait – Partial photographic memory. Inherited from or taught by my daddy.

V if for Vegetable you love – Platanos…or is that a fruit?
W is for Worst trait – Procrastination.
X - is for XRays you’ve had – Teeth, sonogram, leg, arm, MRI’s …yeeesh.
Y is for Yummy food you make – I can’t list it all. I stay cooking…Labor day I’m cooking it all. But everyone else would say Jerk Chicken.
Z is for Zodiac sign – The first sign. The Leader of them all. Aries! Can’t you see my horns?

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Cooking the Kitty/Twin Thursday

No that is not a Internet Pic from an email. That is an actual picture of "Puss In Boots" or PIB for short. Our cat. He seems to have a pump fetish.

For all you Leo's out there(EJ, BrothaCode, Xquizzty1, Will, Lynne,etc.) ...

Here's my cat post of the month!

"Cooking the kitty" is an actual expression I use for taking a bath. The twins have taken it to another level. I'm about to give you an example of exactly why you should watch your kids man! We came in from dinner at IHOP after swimming. I settled the kids in with an Dole Ice Pop and a movie and went to my bedroom to get my phone. My Grandma called to talk. Now you know this means a half an hour or better. Now Grandma's in Memphis, TN and I don't want her to use up her minutes. (Even though she's Abenezzer Scrouge rich). I told her I would call her back on the T (mobile of course). I call back...busy signal. Old folks never hang up the damn phone correctly. I figure I have a sec to go and get some Dreamery ice cream (Caramel Toffee Bar Heaven).

As soon as I hit the corner of the kitchen, I hear the microwave door slam. I'm like "What the hell"? I see Tatyana (the oldest) standing at the microwave. The twins cook their own breakfast...stuff like waffles, oatmeal. They are very good with the machine with proper supervision of course...So I'm like what is she cooking this late after we just ate? I asked and she said "Nofin" real funny like. I shake my head at her and reach for the ice cream. Something in my head said, "No, her ass is cooking something." Tatyana still standing there too. Watching me. The whole situation feels funny. I walk back over to the microwave and press the door open. Puss in Boots jumps out with a soft "Meow". If I hadn't have gotten there in the split second that she closed the door? That Pussy would have been cooked!

Now I'm going to breakdown the twin thing to you. See.. her sister was in on it. When I let PIB out the mic, Tyara (the baby) runs over and says "Oh, Taty...what are you doing?" Real fake like. Tyara's reaction was real phoney. Oscar Award winning.
After talking to Tatyana very graphically about what could have happened to PIB, blood and guts, I sent her to bed. No movie or icey for you! Did I neglect to tell you she still had the icey in her hand? Yeah... Then I get my ice cream, I look over and Tyara is chillin'. Ice pop, couch to on. I said "Nah...You go to bed too. Any other thing you come running to tell me. Mommy this, Mommy that. Your sister damn near cooks the cat? And you ain't got shit to say. Go to bed." (Sorry X, I did curse). Grandma gave all the credit to Jesus. (and righfully so)

Watch your kids...All it took was 3 minutes alone and the kitty would have been a dead duck.

Leo's your month is up LOL...But here's a little present. The best site for telling you all about yourselves. Please check out the compatibility chart.. Save yourselves a lot of trouble *smile*

Happy Birthday Lions!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Worldwide Wednesdays

I am addicted to the BBC and CNN. I think I watch too much news for my own good. So I'm going to start sharing with the rest of you... But I will be concentrating on Third World countries...There's enough spotlight on the others...

The Americas

First, Pat Robertson has decided that somebody should shoot the Venezuelan leader Chavez.

Here's why: Chavez has taken a stance similar to Zimbabwe in that he is redistributing the land owned by wealthy whites to the natives of his country. I don't have a problem with what he is planning. 83% of his population lives in poverty. He was elected to make a change and I am very supportive (not that it makes that much of a difference what I think. Hell.. I voted...still didn't make a difference). Venezuela is the fifth largest oil exporter in the world and the US is one of its biggest customers. But Chavez has started new "Mission" initiatives with the money from the sale of oil. These "Missions" are to increase literacy and occupations in fields like medicine and dentistry. Majority of the new teachers are brought in from Cuba in exchange for low rates on oil. De white mens hate to see folks doing stuff without them...


Did you know that the Somalians haven't had central government in 14 years? Right around the time of "Black Hawk Down". We've forgotten about them...but they are still experiencing high levels of violence and torture.

In Swaziland, the ban on sex has been lifted and the tassels meant to symbolize chastity were burned. There was an huge outcry by Swazi women against the ban because the King took a new 17 year old wife...and nobody expected him to be chaste. The women were heard to have said "Yeah, we can now have sex."

There was a very good report on Nightline last night. Don Cheadle (who is doing remarkable work exposing African issues) took his family to Uganda to let them experience what life in Africa was like. While there in Uganda, he spoke about the 30,000 children who have been kidnapped to serve in the Lord's Resistance Army. The LRA is a guerilla organization and they raid villages at night looking for children between 8 and 14. The boys are forced to kill and the girls are "married" to commanders in the Army. As a result, every night children make a long walking trip to safe havens where they can sleep through the night without fear of capture. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch all of these children (upwards of 50,000) walking in the dark, clutching blankets and dolls.


There is a new disease affecting pigs in China. I don't know about yall..but I may become a vegetarian real soon. Mad Cow disease, Bird Flu and now streptococcus suis? Can't eat nothing these days!

That's it for Worldwide Wednesdays. It will be back next week...

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Somethings aren't what they seem

I thought for sure I would wake up this morning blissful. Alas, that is not the case. I have a headache, my eyes are runny, my throat hurts and my nose is stuffed. On a Tuesday?????? And I have to go to school today. Registration = Long Lines.

So my post today may be a little tart in light of the fact that I feel like ish.

I went to a film screening last night. It was supposed to be a horror flick. But the real horror was that I was repeating an episode in my life, in the same place, 10 years later. Let me explain:

10 years ago, I was with the Hebrew Israelite. We were dating. He invited me to come to Wells restaurant on 132nd street and 7th (I know it says Adam Clayton Powell Jr Boulevard...But its Sevenf Ave for true Harlemites). HI was running a comedy show/live entertainment get-together/shindig. I got Diva'd up. I was 22...but still a young Diva ("The Light" calls it my Donna Summer) What The HI neglected to mention that there was also someone else there that he was dating. (I just didn't know it then) The HI paid attention to me that night but majority of the time he was with Allison. Yeah...her name was Allison too. I kept my head up high and refused to leave..after all he did invite me right? And at the time she was just his business partner and friend. I would find out later that they had a prior 5 year relationship.
Long story short, the HI did end up with me.

Flash forward 10 years

I'm in Wells again, now known THG, and something as equally uncomfortable is going down. Granted it may have been due to my own misconception and also my extreme lateness(the early bird gets the worm) but I mean how freaky is that?

THG is a beautiful place...great ambiance, decor, lighting. But the food? It's a good thing Harlem Hospital is down the block. Short Ribs and Grits? Lobster Ravioli? I am not trying to play games with my stomach. I was assisting a white gentleman at the bar with his choice and I suggested the Cajun Shrimp with Apricot Curry sauce...Seemed like the only thing that wouldn't give him a coronary or the shits. Who in the f is the chef? Sometimes seems like nuccas just throw ish together...cause it sounds different. That don't always mean ish is supposed to be cooked together!

I did have some good Sweet Potato Cheesecake...But then again I'm sick right now...

Onto the movie...

"Not of the Flesh" - a black horror movie short written and directed by a young black female. The movie confused the shit out of me. Yeah this time I said shit. It had no cohesive plot. The dialogue was extremely stilted and elementary. The camera angles were more awkward than scary. And I still don't get the damn point! Something about a woman reading some books by an author in the neighborhood, she gets him to rob and steal, she screwing everybody in the neighborhood and in the end she ends up literally in his book. I was hoping that there wouldn't be any stereotypes in the movie...but there was only the one. The Hoe. She will be rendered forever, in every form of media.

The worst part was watching the lead character read a book to her self..for a long damn time! Twice! Now mind you, this was a short movie...15 mins at best. I don't wanna watch somebody read...much less watch them read a bad book...I read enough thank you. The writer/director was asked how she got her start. She said that she tried to get the rights to an Octavia Butler novel and was turned down. (I don't blame them)... So she decided to write her own science fiction. Ok, girlfriend...Science Fiction is not that easy. And she will be finding out the hard way.

I drove home and argued with "The Lion" again. When is goodbye not plain enough? Sayanara, Adios, BE F_ING GONE!!! I have to go to school and finalize some ish. "The Light" and I discussed my after Labor Day plans today. I said whosoevereth the lucky dude is...he will have to be put on a tight a Midnight Marauder (I like using that word)...Diva has a lot of papers to write...and games to watch .

I am cranky like a fill it in.

Monday, August 22, 2005

MixTape Mondays

I've decided that I will probably have Mixtape Mondays.

Take a look at DJ Diva Reviews...

U should probably view at your own risk...I love a variety of music.

I'm going out tonight. Gonna meet a fellow blogger. Last one I met was Hashim at the Harlem Book Fair. I recognized him when he asked a question at the panel discussion on HipHop. So I went up to him afterward. I was my usual bubbly self and he was kinda quiet. I attributed it to my ex who probably still blogs with him. Funny how relationships can follow you. Oh well...

It's probably the last day for swimming so me and the twins are going to take a dip...and I'll probably take pics since I'm such a shutterbug...

U should probably enjoy your Monday!


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I'm going back to church this morning. I haven't been since Mother's Day. Yeah some of you say, well what's the big deal? But I was a every Sunday going woman...who would feel bad all day Sunday and part of Monday if I missed service. Last year I made the commitment to stay in church. I really felt like it was time. Last night, I was on the phone with my grandmother in Memphis and she said "I guess you just done gave up on church huh? You aint been all summer." I was stuck for words. Others had asked me the same question and I had flip answers like "I'm taking the summer off" or "Church can be expensive". I was dead quiet last night because when she asked me, the real answer popped right into my mind. And I said, "When I'm ready to talk about it, I will."

I think I'm ready...

Mother's Day.

You see Mother's Day I went to church. And my ex-husband was there with his wife and child. Yeah, I know...what's the big deal? Yeah we're cool...Like the Gwen Stefani song...but it was still a problem...Two reasons...That's my church...and He had the nerve to come there and not speak to me at all. Spoke to the twins. But not me. We don't argue, there's no strife between us. He just decided that day he wouldn't say a word to me. You are in my church, I'm sitting with two little girls who looked like you spit them out and you don't say Happy Mother's Day. That shit upset me. I was quite pissed. That shit wasn't cool...

Not to mention it's my church. Yeah, yeah...he can go anywhere he wants to go and I don't own any churches. But I was raised in that church. My grandmother took me there every Sunday until I was 16. Then we (my cousins and I) were given the choice of working on Sunday or going to church. But we were still required on special days and holidays. I got married in Jamaica, but I did take him to the church. He went twice. He always said he didn't believe in God (My momma told me to run from him when he told her that. She was very scared). He never liked church at all. So yeah, I kinda feel like that's my church.

Well later that night, he was hospitalized. At first they said double pneumonia, then it was a heart infraction. I strangely felt happy, like it was something he deserved for treating me badly, almost like karma. Then I felt horrible for feeling that way. Like am I that evil to think something like that? And what about the twins? They would really miss their dad. So every Sunday since, I wondered if maybe I had something to with it. Now I know I didn't. What he chose to do that day had either nothing to do with me, or everything to do with me. But either way, I can't let that stop me from enjoying the services by my childhood pastor. (When he said "If loving the Lord is wrong, I don't want to be right", I was about eight and laughed out loud right in the middle of service). And he's moving to Atlanta, so they won't be popping up anymore. I guess the path has cleared. I've reconciled things I'm going to get my praise on.

Friday, August 19, 2005


Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine
- Tracey Chapman

I want to talk about Backslidin today. You remember when you was a kid and you would hear the old folks chatterin about "Sister so and so done backslid". Me and my cousins would giggle like hell. See to us, it brought images of Sister so and so careening down the church aisle, like she was on a water slip and slide. We would sit patiently through the service, stomach rumbling because we could smell the smothered chicken aroma wafting up through stairwell, while Sister so and so was tearfully admitting to sinning. Sometimes Sister so and so took too damn long...

As we get older, backslidin' can take on a secular meaning.
You know what I mean....You say to yourself:"I'm not gonna eat no damn Ben and his damn friend Jerry's tonight!"...Then at 2 am...who's doing the reverse waltz down the hallway? Your ass!

Or how about me? "I ain't never going back to that damn club again! There's only halitosis having men dancing like they in the damn Thriller movie! The part with the zombies doing the funky chicken!" And guess who's doing a moonwalk like Michael himself? When Friday night rolls around and thinking about free admission, my bored-as-fuck ass reverses the Sentra down the block to fly to that damn club...(to dance by myself of course!)

But people...the worst backslidin can be for some dizzle (taken from Brothacode). The dizzle can have you doing backflips like the Blues Brothers. Some dizzle after a summer long drought? Jeees...One can only imagine the cartwheels. But ladies and gents...I am proud to say that When faced with the prospect of spending time with "The Lion" as opposed to continuing a celibate summer...I chose the latter. I can't say that I've been starved for male company...Me and the "the Light" spend quality time together without the complications of sexual intercourse. It has been working well for me so far... So did I really want to waste my time? I mean "the Lion" is classic 80's fine (light skin, hazel eyes, tall, bald)...but he doesn't fit the criteria set below in Want vs. Need...So the choice was take what I want...or wait for what I need. I decided to wait...

I ain't saying I ain't ever gonna backslide again...and when it gets cold and u hear about "the lion" prowling around outside my door...don't be surprised...As Softness1 says,"Sometimes you just want to wear those old slippers". I've known "the Lion" for 18 years...and "If you don't know me by now" is usually what I want to scream in his ear when he calls. I mean he calls consistently, and has all of the right things spilling from his lips..but I still know he is full of shit. Hence the reason for the song lyrics above. It would have been so easy to melt and say, "Sure baby, come on over", like Lela Rachon and Leon in Waiting to Exhale. But this time I said no and as far as my commitment to a celibate summer...I'm proud to say I'm almost making it...and I'm proud that I didn't backslide...

Now will Labor day finally get here!!!!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Sometimes you need a little cock


I wanted to mess with yall with a racy title...but it does suit this post.

Cockiness. Is it necessarily a bad thing? For me? No.

I know that it has been bred into me and may even have something to do with my zodiac. I also need it to succeed in my chosen field of study, and after I receive my PhD, in my careers as a writer and Shakespearian Professor. I'll break it down for you so you don't think I'm crazy...

Born Cocky
I was a love child and my parents were totally in love with me. I spoke early and was reading by 2 1/2. This caused a sensation amongst my family members: especially my grandmother. She exempted me from chores because I always had a book in my hand. I was classified as gifted early and ended up attending Hunter College High School. Hence, I have always felt that I could accomplish anything I wanted to. And I usually did.

Ram Cock
Most of you know an Aries. And we're all quite self confident. We don't boast or brag, most people just consider it that way. Don't understand what I mean? Check out the description of an Aries woman and tell me it doesn't describe me...

The Sun in Aries can make a person somewhat militant, headstrong and ambitious. She is also quick in both actions and wit. Her appearance is that of a dynamic and enthusiastic person. She is a leader, not a follower, and she does well in positions of authority and management. She is an excellent artist or craftsman. She likes to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. She is opinionated and at times even arrogant. She can be insensitive to the needs of others (often without realizing it), yet she rarely holds a grudge. Her outward self-confidence can hide a deep feeling of inadequacy. Aries' personal goal will be to become the energetic leader.

I believe I can relate to it all.

A Career with a Little Cock

Ok...I know...but that's the last time I'll write that word (I'm lying but flow with me) As a Student and eventually as a literary professor/critic, I have to be cocky. The first thing you need to learn is to be confident in what you say. You can't write an essay and be unsure of yourself...Automatic F

As my mentor said "As you move through the Ph.D. process and progress throughout your academic career, you will see how important it is to begin from a position of arrogance. You are already making a contribution to the discipline just by being a part of it. There will be many people who will seek to undercut your voice, and some may even succeed temporarily, but you must continue to assert your position. Accept criticism, but don't compromise yourself just because someone doesn't agree with you."

I keep that email on my desk...but I already have it memorized.

Believe me, I have my faults...I trust too much, I can be naive, I bite off more than I can chew sometimes and I definitely love too damn hard. There are more, but I'm too cocky to list them..

But applied to my life? High self-confidence isn't a bad quality to have. I have a 3.7 GPA in my English Lit courses so it must be working.

I register for my Graduate School classes on Monday and I'm positive my cockiness will come in handy...

Monday, August 15, 2005

Bounce, Rock, Skate

Me and my baby brother went roller skating Sunday night. He is truly awesome on the wheels. I could sit back and watch my brother skate all night. And he's sooo cute! Ladies yall need to snatch him up!

It's been a crazy busy summer so far...I had to post about 3 different events and I still have to do 2 more (Mary and Tu-Tu don't murder me)

So check out Tyesha's Birthday and the Harlem Book Fair 2005. DJ Diva gets around know how I do!!!!

The Fashion Forty/ Tyesha's Birthday Party


My girl Ty had a slamming B-day party at the Fashion Forty on August 7th.
DJ DIVA was in the house!

Harlem Book Fair 2005


The Harlem Book Fair was a great experience. I have to confess...I grew up in Harlem but never went to the fair before. Hashim put out the info and I decided I had to see it for myself.

It was worth the heat. I really didn't go to buy books. I have too many as it is (If you would like to fill out a Diva Library Pass..let me know) I'm not a great fan of Street Literature. I have read some of it (True to the Game, Satin Doll etc.) but at some point it becomes like HipHop..Pornographic just for the shock value. I find that most of these books are very poorly edited and the subject matter (pimps, drugdealers, hoes etc.,) has quickly lost its appeal to me. I don't think that what is popular in today's black literature correctly reveals what life in the black community is like. And if it is..I don't want to be constantly bombarded with these constant bad images. It's enough I listen to it everyday...I don't want to keep reading about it. But my hat goes off to all of those who at least try to write. I'm currently in the process myself and it can harrowing. But sorry, no hoes, pimps, or drug dealers/traffickers in my books....

But I digress... I really went to listen in on the discussions held in the Harlem Hospital and Schomberg Auditoriums...

The first one was The Devolution of Hip Hop
Now that HipHop has reached it's 30th year... is it now more juvenile that it has ever been?

Nelson George, Bakari Kitwana, Danyel Smith participated along with others.

It was refreshing to hear an educated discussion on the state of HipHop today.

Nelson stated that we need to inject political consciousness into music and artists like Jay-Z, who already have a megahold on the industry. We need an artist like KRS-1 or Public Enemy in the mainstream. Danyel (whom I admire very much) said that she along with others in her age group (like me) were excited when we listened to Pro-Black HipHop in the late 80's and early 90's..but when no revolution was formed and gangsta rap was born...we lost interest. I thought that statement was so on point and basically summed up my resentment toward gangsta rap. But something poignant that she said was that we need to get the youth motivated enough to fight for the issues that affect them.

The discussion included a lot more great statements but I lost interest during some portions..there was an exchange that went on for 7 mins just between the men on the panel and at one point Danyel looked quite annoyed. Bitkari also talked too much. I respect him and I love his book on White Folks loving HipHop...but the brother talked in circles and never made it quite to the point. Except about white folks loving HipHop.

All in all I had a good time and here are the rest of the pics. Along with me and my friends from summer school. That's me and Shayne actor from St. Lucia..

Friday, August 05, 2005

Let's Play Doctor

This is personal….

Yall may have noticed Sassywow in my comments sections. She is one of my best friends. Funny as hell too. I got her to create her own blog due to her frustration with life.

So we talk about matter how gross and we happened upon the following topic.

Cleaning up your man

In every relationship I have had, the dude needed some type renovation project. In no way am I perfect and I’m sure that unbeknownst to me, I may have been somebody else’s project. But I’m not talking about me…I’m talking about some of these men. My mom used to spend hours on Sunday mornings plucking out my father’s ingrown hairs in his beard. She took care of the whole family’s feet way past the age when we could do it for ourselves. To this day, people still request her for dermatological services.

I thought about it and I’ve done my years of constant doctoring too:

Dermatologist: There was the Indian. He loved to wear moccasins. Damn if I didn’t get ragged on about that. But I was young. He had beautiful eyes and horrible skin. Brother squeezed his nose once and it looked like Play-Do coming out of the Pasta Playset. I spent hours with Noxema and alcohol.

Orthopedist: The Hebrew Israelite had the sweetest personality and the worst toenails I had ever seen. After months of socks being worn to bed, I asked to see what was wrong with his feet. Nails curled into his damn skin. Why do men let they nails grow so damn long? But I chalked it up to no foot training and I jumped out of bed to get the industrial sized clippers and went to work.

Pus-ologist: This was the worse job of all. This gets real gross. The removal of pus is a real disgusting activity. It comes in a variety of nasty shades and has a distinctive smell. The Angry Dwarf had a pus problem. Wondering why he always wore a t-shirt to bed, I pulled it off one night. I had the silly idea of running my hands through chest hair. No chest hair. But a mass of bumps filled with blackheads. I had never seen anything like it and I know they don’t categorize that shit. (if someone knows the name of this ailment, please tell me). But me, being sweet ass Diva, cooed “Let me help you Daddy”. After a year of constant maintenance, I beat the Pus. And would you guess, hiding behind all those nasty blackheads was a nice crop of hair? Funny thing was, after we broke up, he still expected both puss services….couldn’t ask the new chick to remove the pus…or even work the puss...

My girl Akiba (alias) is having first time sex with a dude she’s digging…she figures she’ll do her duty and fondle the “friends”…what she encounters is a couple of long dreadlocks hanging longer than the “friends”…

What is she to do?

I suggested playing hairstylist and getting a scissor.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Want vs. Need

I played around with this a little in my sestina below. But I had a conversation with "The Light" last night, which echoed a prior conversation I had with 3 other educated gentlemen, and I realized that I had to explore the topic further.

To say that I’m “crystal clear” on what I want in a relationship would be misleading. It would be like saying I have a vision of who it is I want. A vision is a mirage. It can never be obtained because it is a fantasy. I have plenty of fantasies and I want a lot of things. Shit…I could list them for days. But seriously, what I want is flexible and changes everyday.

At this point in my life, I do know what I need. My needs are more important than what I want.

1. A man
2. who reads
3. is pleasing to my eye
4. cognizant of world issues
5. likes sports
6. loves music and not just rap
7. A man
8. who is patient
9. has a good sense of humor
10. can handle his money
11. liquor
12. and his business without me having to know.
13. A man
14. with a strong back
15. soft hands
16. and packing.
17. A man
18. capable of dispensing
19. non abusive discipline
20. cause sometimes even I need to be kept in check.
21. An ambitious man
22. if not for himself, for me
23. One who knows his place in the home
24. ultimately letting me know mine
25. A man who can love.

As you can see, what I need does differ from what I want. I may add to what I need, but the original list will only keep growing and never diminishing.

Everyone's needs are different. You may not need him to be packing, but he needs a job. (Damn, I have to add that one lol) But for me? Packing is a requirement. So I shall continue a "C" summer.

I date who I want.
It remains to be seen if I will get what I need.

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