Monday, January 15, 2007

MLK Day/ The little things...

I love Martin Luther King Day.

I will admit that I may not have always exhibited the most joyous of reactions to the day.

I don’t usually go to the church breakfast and participate in their ceremonies.

If there is a memorial or some other activities…I’ll be honest…I usually don’t go…

But I will listen to his speeches and take time to reflect on what the day means to me….

It wasn’t until the year I turned 30 …that the significance really began to hit home.

At this time I was working for a company….a Jewish company …..and I was the only black person in the department. When MLK day came…of course I asked and they said that it wasn’t celebrated in their company…I just nodded and was ok…til I got back to my desk and realized that we had in fact had Columbus Day off. Similar holiday right?

Under further investigation I saw a memo from the employee who was previously in my spot and my boss. In it, they discussed hiring me and one of the questions that came up was MLK day. The white female wrote to my boss that MLK was not a national holiday and was optional. He decided against celebrating it.

I will admit…I was actually hurt by finding this thing. Like wow…MLK is actually optional? I guess I was living under a blindfold…I had never thought that people actually discussed whether or not to do it. I always thought either it was or wasn’t done period. Maybe I was just hurt by the fact that my boss was the type of person that would think it was optional.

Needless to say…After I found that memo…I went right in there and told my boss I was taking off with pay. He didn’t argue about it…but he wasn’t happy….that was the beginning of the end for me at that place…

Fast forward to this job.

I’ve written about it before….How I felt like I was a slave on the plantation…

Note to self: Next time somebody says you will be working for X amount of people…ask to interview with all of the persons. That you know whether YOU like all of them or not.

When I took this job …I interviewed with my supervisor, a partner and a senior manager. I liked those people a lot! They did not include the other 3 SMs or the M…or the Managers I had to take on because of the abrupt departure of another Admin. Who has been gone since Sept and they have not replaced yet! If I had known the personalities of the others? I would have turned that job down flat…Get the hell out of here…Those people are pains in the ass….is what I would have been yelling on my way out the door!

Of course…that is a whole nother blog post…and it is also moot because I quit dis bitch….Boy I love that phrase…

One of my duties at this job is to keep a calendar of all 20 persons in the dept. I was lucky because the Admin before me had a format and I pretty much kept it. She had added little clipart and other things to the calendar …so I kept up the tradition. In Oct., I had some Columbus stuff and Halloween, In November, Thanksgiving,…In Dec, I had Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa.

This month in January…the art was pretty sparse…I had a snowman (no snow yet in NY), I had a beautiful wreath of Garnets (Jan birthstone), a spray of carnations (Jan flower)….and A small picture of MLK on his b’day with the words COMPANY HOLIDAY above it. I was actually quite tired of folks asking me if it were a holiday with it being broadcast all over the company website.

The Run It Chick….put a copy of the calendar in my inbox….completely marked up with what she thought were mistakes…and added in pencil..

“Oh and it’s a waste of time to add the clipart”

When I saw that I burst out laughing. Because I had already decided to quit…and she didn’t know it yet…. and I was like “Tell dat to the next chick, bitch! I won’t even be here for the next calendar month!”…Sorry for the cursing but that was just how I felt. She wasn’t the one to correct me on the calendar…or to even supervise that aspect of my work.

Who made her the calendar supervisor? LMAO

But then I thought about all the other things that I had placed on the calendar since March. And how no one ever said a disparaging word…and how often I received compliments on that small little duty.

Was it that she was mad that I put his face on the calendar? I mean…Again I am the only black person in this dept. Did she not need to be reminded of him?

I don’t know….but let me tell you I never changed the calendar….I made his face bigger on my version and I enlarged that bitch so every time she saw it she would be mad….She lucky I aint gonna be there for Black History Month!!!!!!!!

This may sound crazy…but I am proud of myself. I will continue to honor his memory…

Even with the small things.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Wow. This week has been frustrating. I have so many topics in mind to write about. It has been quite a long seven days.

Waiting this last week for the Te.ach Am answer has really put me through the ringer. I have patience but waiting a month for an approval or denial is just torture. Why put someone through this? My God.

But that is what other plans are for.

It has been decided that no matter the outcome tomorrow. Scribe and I and our two little angels will be relocating at the end of this month to Memphis, TN.

In the summer, (check August 2006) I did tell yall that my parents bought a huge three story house of which the rent out the top 2 floors…in Memphis..right? Well they live here in NY and my Dad is not able to relocate just yet. My mom ended up spending a lot of time in Memphis running the place and he started to really miss her.

So they asked us if we would consider living there on the first floor…Rent Free…..

It wasn’t that hard of a decision to make.

We are both unhappy with our jobs here. We hate the neighborhood…and we both wanted a change in our lives.

So we are doing it.

I have been so excited….walking on air almost.

A change….something different…something new…If I wanted to…I could finish grad school while living rent free….I won’t do that….but it is an option.

I know…what if TA sends me somewhere other than Memphis?

Well Scribe and I agree that TA is the most important route to follow…so if they place us South? The program starts in June and that gives us more time to save more money…and to be within driving distance of the chosen city in order to set up shop for the 2 year bid.

It’s a win-win situation.

But that hasn’t helped with the anxiety I have been going through this week. Nail biting, butt clenching…like waiting for Jason to come reaching out of the water at the end of the first Friday the Thirteenth..

My nerves are shot.

Write? Please…I could barely think!

I am also very very disappointed in myself regarding some baggage…

So it’s been quite a week. I am hoping that all of the drama I have been through for this first week of the year has not been indicative of how the rest of the year will turn out….

But it also says something to how God works within me. No matter what I was dealing with….Inside I kept a small mustard seed of hope…that everything would work out just how I wanted I to…That there would be no sabotage to any of the plans I had put in place…I keep making moves…producing plans B and C and D…to go with Plan A.

I refuse to fail! And I don’t!

I read of one blogger’s ordeal about relocation and I was horrified! I can’t imagine not having an alternate route to get out of any problem. I have never left an apartment without a place to go….I have never had $25 to my name without a clear cut idea of the next time I was going to get checks to cover my needs. And I will never be away from my children for more than a month….Nah man….can’t do it! I keep a plan is what I am trying to say. It may seem like my plans change constantly….One day I’ll be talking about one route to my ultimate goal…and the next week…I’m like “look I found another way to do XYZ!” Because I never want to be caught out there. If one door closes…I have to have three other buildings to check!

And because I am like this….and I have the faith that I will succeed….I believe God will bless me with the wisdom of choosing the best option that works best for me and my family! I am thankful that this opportunity to help my parents as well as my family has dropped into my lap.

And it’s funny….yall should remember that Scribe wanted to do Memphis from the jump….and the twins have repeatedly asked that we move to Memphis …and that they would rather be in Memphis than closer to their father in ATL….Add to that…my first interview with TA was with the head of the program in Memphis….and that my best female friend…my sister in life….had relocated there a year and a half ago…

Funny thing: She said, “It took your ass long enough. I was wondering how long it was gonna take your ass to get here…Now hurry up…we miss you!”

All roads seem to lead there…

Now like I said …I get the official answer tomorrow….and if they accept me…then I have a list of options to follow…

But if they don’t accept me? Well then it’s onto Plans B or C or D….

But thank God I had the wisdom to make those other plans…

I can’t fail!
Postscript: I didn't make the cut. On to plan B. There are 15 ways to skin a cat.....

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