Sunday, January 07, 2007

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Wow. This week has been frustrating. I have so many topics in mind to write about. It has been quite a long seven days.

Waiting this last week for the Te.ach Am answer has really put me through the ringer. I have patience but waiting a month for an approval or denial is just torture. Why put someone through this? My God.

But that is what other plans are for.

It has been decided that no matter the outcome tomorrow. Scribe and I and our two little angels will be relocating at the end of this month to Memphis, TN.

In the summer, (check August 2006) I did tell yall that my parents bought a huge three story house of which the rent out the top 2 floors…in Memphis..right? Well they live here in NY and my Dad is not able to relocate just yet. My mom ended up spending a lot of time in Memphis running the place and he started to really miss her.

So they asked us if we would consider living there on the first floor…Rent Free…..

It wasn’t that hard of a decision to make.

We are both unhappy with our jobs here. We hate the neighborhood…and we both wanted a change in our lives.

So we are doing it.

I have been so excited….walking on air almost.

A change….something different…something new…If I wanted to…I could finish grad school while living rent free….I won’t do that….but it is an option.

I know…what if TA sends me somewhere other than Memphis?

Well Scribe and I agree that TA is the most important route to follow…so if they place us South? The program starts in June and that gives us more time to save more money…and to be within driving distance of the chosen city in order to set up shop for the 2 year bid.

It’s a win-win situation.

But that hasn’t helped with the anxiety I have been going through this week. Nail biting, butt clenching…like waiting for Jason to come reaching out of the water at the end of the first Friday the Thirteenth..

My nerves are shot.

Write? Please…I could barely think!

I am also very very disappointed in myself regarding some baggage…

So it’s been quite a week. I am hoping that all of the drama I have been through for this first week of the year has not been indicative of how the rest of the year will turn out….

But it also says something to how God works within me. No matter what I was dealing with….Inside I kept a small mustard seed of hope…that everything would work out just how I wanted I to…That there would be no sabotage to any of the plans I had put in place…I keep making moves…producing plans B and C and D…to go with Plan A.

I refuse to fail! And I don’t!

I read of one blogger’s ordeal about relocation and I was horrified! I can’t imagine not having an alternate route to get out of any problem. I have never left an apartment without a place to go….I have never had $25 to my name without a clear cut idea of the next time I was going to get checks to cover my needs. And I will never be away from my children for more than a month….Nah man….can’t do it! I keep a plan is what I am trying to say. It may seem like my plans change constantly….One day I’ll be talking about one route to my ultimate goal…and the next week…I’m like “look I found another way to do XYZ!” Because I never want to be caught out there. If one door closes…I have to have three other buildings to check!

And because I am like this….and I have the faith that I will succeed….I believe God will bless me with the wisdom of choosing the best option that works best for me and my family! I am thankful that this opportunity to help my parents as well as my family has dropped into my lap.

And it’s funny….yall should remember that Scribe wanted to do Memphis from the jump….and the twins have repeatedly asked that we move to Memphis …and that they would rather be in Memphis than closer to their father in ATL….Add to that…my first interview with TA was with the head of the program in Memphis….and that my best female friend…my sister in life….had relocated there a year and a half ago…

Funny thing: She said, “It took your ass long enough. I was wondering how long it was gonna take your ass to get here…Now hurry up…we miss you!”

All roads seem to lead there…

Now like I said …I get the official answer tomorrow….and if they accept me…then I have a list of options to follow…

But if they don’t accept me? Well then it’s onto Plans B or C or D….

But thank God I had the wisdom to make those other plans…

I can’t fail!
Postscript: I didn't make the cut. On to plan B. There are 15 ways to skin a cat.....

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