Friday, August 19, 2005


Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine
- Tracey Chapman

I want to talk about Backslidin today. You remember when you was a kid and you would hear the old folks chatterin about "Sister so and so done backslid". Me and my cousins would giggle like hell. See to us, it brought images of Sister so and so careening down the church aisle, like she was on a water slip and slide. We would sit patiently through the service, stomach rumbling because we could smell the smothered chicken aroma wafting up through stairwell, while Sister so and so was tearfully admitting to sinning. Sometimes Sister so and so took too damn long...

As we get older, backslidin' can take on a secular meaning.
You know what I mean....You say to yourself:"I'm not gonna eat no damn Ben and his damn friend Jerry's tonight!"...Then at 2 am...who's doing the reverse waltz down the hallway? Your ass!

Or how about me? "I ain't never going back to that damn club again! There's only halitosis having men dancing like they in the damn Thriller movie! The part with the zombies doing the funky chicken!" And guess who's doing a moonwalk like Michael himself? When Friday night rolls around and thinking about free admission, my bored-as-fuck ass reverses the Sentra down the block to fly to that damn club...(to dance by myself of course!)

But people...the worst backslidin can be for some dizzle (taken from Brothacode). The dizzle can have you doing backflips like the Blues Brothers. Some dizzle after a summer long drought? Jeees...One can only imagine the cartwheels. But ladies and gents...I am proud to say that When faced with the prospect of spending time with "The Lion" as opposed to continuing a celibate summer...I chose the latter. I can't say that I've been starved for male company...Me and the "the Light" spend quality time together without the complications of sexual intercourse. It has been working well for me so far... So did I really want to waste my time? I mean "the Lion" is classic 80's fine (light skin, hazel eyes, tall, bald)...but he doesn't fit the criteria set below in Want vs. Need...So the choice was take what I want...or wait for what I need. I decided to wait...

I ain't saying I ain't ever gonna backslide again...and when it gets cold and u hear about "the lion" prowling around outside my door...don't be surprised...As Softness1 says,"Sometimes you just want to wear those old slippers". I've known "the Lion" for 18 years...and "If you don't know me by now" is usually what I want to scream in his ear when he calls. I mean he calls consistently, and has all of the right things spilling from his lips..but I still know he is full of shit. Hence the reason for the song lyrics above. It would have been so easy to melt and say, "Sure baby, come on over", like Lela Rachon and Leon in Waiting to Exhale. But this time I said no and as far as my commitment to a celibate summer...I'm proud to say I'm almost making it...and I'm proud that I didn't backslide...

Now will Labor day finally get here!!!!!

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