Wanting/New Poem

In my creative writing class we had to do a special type of poetry.

Sestina

A 12th century French Form poem. You can read about that difficult shit here!
A poem comprised of 7 stanzas. The first 6 stanzas each have 6 lines. The last stanza has 3 lines. You must choose 6 end words, that will be repeated following a specific pattern.

Let me know if you like it.

Wanting

People say they know what they want.
But do they really know what they need?
There must be a distinction in love.
The being that will become you and I,
shining, blending, swaying, and soft,
will take on a brilliance that’s hard

to take. Is it really that hard?
To know what it is you want
whispered in your ear so soft?
My lips pressed hard, in need
of the melodies sung in darkness and I,
dancing lightly on the idea of love,

breathe the sweet nectar of my love
into your ear. Your heart beats hard,
your eyes glaze and I
combine with what I want.
Or should I say need?
The crystal vision once held, becomes soft.

Touching you inside where it’s soft,
exploring all of the possibilities of love,
my prior requirements I no longer need.
Melding with you has made my hard
heart flutter with want
and the promise of you and I.

This was not expected by I
or you. The gazes held so soft
across a crowded room showed the want
in our eyes. Could it be love?
No, that would be too hard.
And besides, it’s not what I need.

Or is it exactly what I need?
Fate has tossed you and I
together and I can no longer be hard.
I have to acknowledge the soft
side that needs love.
This is what I want.

It can be hard to admit what you need.
I can easier say what I want.
But it all comes back to soft love.

It takes a screw and a nut/TGIF

TGIF...Yes, it's finally here. I'm so glad this week is over. Gonna hang out with my tree. This week has been very interesting. Had some inflammatory conversations and a run in with an lesbian internet stalker. Now? Yall need to log in to leave a comment. Sorry, but there are really some crazy people out there. And by the way, I'm always happy...too blessed to be stressed!

Where do I begin?

Reverend Willie Wilson

you can read the full article here

Well Brothacode hipped me to this preacher down in DC who had some crazy ish to say about why women turn gay...The Reverend Willie Wilson had the nerve to say:
We live in a time when our brothers have been so put down, can’t get a job, lot of the sisters making more money than brothers. And it’s creating problems in families. That’s one of the reasons our families’ breaking up. And that’s one of the reasons many of our women are becoming lesbians. You got to be careful when you say you don’t need no man. I can make it by myself. Well, if you don’t need a man, what’s left? Lesbianism is about to take over our community.

Now I think that that portion is pretty retarded. I meanreceive recieve my Ph.D, I will more than likely end up making more money than my sig other. I can deal with that. But lacking a mate is not going to make me run to another woman. That doesn't mean the lesbians in my neighborhood have stopped trying to hit on me. Because I respect my children and my home, I don't bring any men into my house. (tree has a hard time with that one) I had a long term relationship that ended 2 years ago but since then? Hell no! Even with the children away. It's too confusing and not fair to them..I conduct my business outside of the neighborhood...but because the local lesbians don't see me with a man? The more mannish lesbians push hard...and then get offended when I have nothing to say but "hi" and "bye". I also have a friend who's husband was in jail for 12 years and she did sample the head lesbian around here. But her husband came home last week. Girlfriend's skin looks better and brighter. She stays inside all the time now and when I do see her...she looks very happy. What does this all have to do with it? I don't know...I just call 'em how I see 'em.

However Reverend Wilson goes on to describe, in explicit detail, homosexual sex:
But when you get down to this thing, women falling down on another woman, strapping yourself up with something, it ain’t real. That thing ain’t got no feeling in it. It ain’t natural. Any time somebody got to slap some grease on your behind, and stick something in you, it’s something wrong with that. Your butt ain’t made for that. [Audience shouts and yells its approval in the background.] You got blood vessels and membranes in your behind. And if you put something unnatural in there, it breaks them all up. No wonder your behind is bleeding. It’s destroying us.

Now if you are easily offended you may want to stop here.

Official disclaimer: Please note that I really don't have a problem if you strap on or grease up to get your rocks off. Just stick to one damn side of the spectrum.

I laughed my ass off cause I really couldn't believe he said all of this in a church..then I stopped and thought about it. He was speaking in a church. We all know there is a large number of gay men involved in various activities in church. Maybe he just needed to say what he felt was necessary for his people. My pastor preaches about homosexuality often. I often agree with the comments he makes because I know the Bible and I believe in the Bible, however, he does not describe the actual acts. He has also said publicly that he will not have any openly gay choir members. He said he would rather have no choir. Understand, I know there are gay men in my church...but they are not open and flaming. Why? My pastor does not allow it. They choose to attend my church and when the pastor speaks against homosexuality, they don't get up and leave...they nod their heads in agreement. They probably lying...but they still stay in there.

The CDC performed a study and reported this year that in the 5 major cities of the US, out of the 1/4th of the men who tested positive, 46% of the gay black men had HIV.

Ok, maybe you skipped over that one ...HIV prevalence was 46% among blacks, 21% among whites, and 17% among Hispanics, of the men they tested in New York, Los Angeles, Baltimore, Miami and San Francisco.

That statistic is very high and very scary. Especially with all the men on the down low.

I'm not laughing anymore.

Yesterday, I had a discussion with a homosexual about the issue of choice. I am constantly hearing that "it's not a choice, we are born this way". This gay man I was talking with has a 19 year old son so he apparently made the switch about 20 years ago.

What about Jonathan Plummer?

Terry says " "I believe that Jonathan has always known that he is gay," she said in her court declaration. "By his own declaration, Jonathan repeatedly admits to being aware of his sexual orientation before we were married. Specifically, he admits that he 'had been experiencing conflicted feelings about my sexuality for some time …' and that he had suppressed his feelings for 28 years." Jonathan made the choice. If he was born that way he would not have been able to choose!

Lets not forget Big Gay Al (so aptly named by Fresh)

And Star Jones (with her crazy ass) didn't have a problem marrying a openly gay man..and she don't look like the type who won't be getting any nookie from Big Gay Al. So it looks like he made the choice.

So my friends...I say that it is a choice and not a birthright ...These two and countless other men have made the switch...so how can it not be a choice?

Please note the standard definition of choice:The act of choosing; selection.
The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.

And if it isn't a choice and people really are born gay, then we have to wonder if this guy in Arizona who thought his 8 month old son was gay, is really as retarded as he first sounded when he made that claim. If you are born that way, it doesn't seem so stupid for a parent to begin to look for it in their children. And what would we look for anyway?

I was warned not to post about this. That I might upset a lot of people. But if they, meaning the homosexual community, can affirm and scream and shout about their right to be open and legitimate...I can talk about what I want in regards to the topic.

And lastly, quite honestly? I don't want to hear no crap about "I mean you are a black woman who has experienced racism so you should be more accepting."

Bullshit

One has nothing to do with the other..

Like Jonathan Plummer and Big Gay Al, apparently you can switch who you choose to have sex with.

I, on the other hand, cannot wake up tomorrow and say "Hmmm, today I'll be white"

I won't even get into slavery......

So in closing, I haven't explained it to the twins yet...but I know that time is coming in a few years...thanks to the kind of homosexualized media that places Patrick from Spongebob in fishnet stockings and high heels....and I'm not really looking foward to it. Imagine me trying to explain what Reverend Wilson said?

that's a post for another day.

The Roots @ Pier 54

Curtesy of Ford Fusion, I got to see the Roots live at Pier 54 last Thursday. For FREE! A friend hipped me last minute, and I threw on some turquoise and headed downtown.

Cyprus Sounds from Hot 97 gave a brief opening after we were let in. Truly that Village Voice article was totally correct. Hashim did great coverage so I won't rehash it. Because of my Post Colonial African Politics class and Creative Writing, this post will be shorter than usual. But it is true people. We don't support our artists like we should. I think it's cause those of us who actually care about conscious rap (born before 80), have jobs, spouses and work to contend with. Not to mention children. And we really dont get out that often. Ok I say we...but I mean yall...my ass is always going somewhere. Just Holla...U 2 can be down..

Too Personal again? Here... read the disclaimer again

I didn't write a commentary of the show...I gotta go to bed ...school at 8:30 am.

So here are the pictures. You shoulda been there.

It's My House

It's my house and I live here

On the table, there sits a rose
Through every window
A little light flows
Books of feeling on the shelf above
'Cause it was built for love
I was built for love - Diana Ross

I haven't posted in a while. Partly because of school, being busy, hanging out with the twins. But also because of few comments made by a friend. It was nothing too harsh, but made me feel quite self-conscious.

I mean I don't write a completely personal blog, like one of my favorites by SWAY.

And although sometimes I write about hiphop, this is not a strictly hiphop site like Hashim's.

I post playlists like my guy EJ, but I don't do radio blogs.

I sometimes do a radio show, like Jay Smooth.

Sometimes I think I'm funny like Brotha Code.

But most of the time I just have too much to say like my gurl Miss Kay.

I guess you could call it a hodgepodge of all of the above. But then I thought I let yall know that already. Look at the top. Where it says DJ DIVA? Right underneath it says "Here you will get political thoughts, R & B reviews, literature and anything else I feel like talking about!"

That means this is mine. My little soundbox in this huge, yet small world. The things I post on here are things that I want to share with that world. A little insight into the little, yet big persona that is Diva.

I know my friends and family mean well but sometimes I want to share things like how much of an ass a man can be...or how a ugly dyke tried to be an internet gangsta and insult me through an email. (OOOH i'm shaking like Whoopi's hyena at the mention of Mufasa's name in the Lion King). This is my forum, my arena, my house. I know that what I say here doesn't stay here. It may provide you with info or some cool pictures. But ultimately it is still mine.

I don't care about negative comments on my posts. In fact I encourage it! Say whatever the hell you want to say. That's why I provided a comments section...to get all feedback..negative and positive. But don't judge what I choose to post. This is my page and if I want to write about picking my nose...I'll be listing the lyrics by Biz Markie and talking about all the gooey snot. If I choose to.

So here is an official disclaimer: I will write about everything I want...when I want. For my closest friends and family, I will extend the common curtesy of not talking about them before I clear it with them. But everything and I mean everything truly is fair game.

Cause like I said.....


*singing while snapping my fingers, as I walk away in my high heels, swinging my ponytail*

It's my house and I live here

Now scroll down and check out my pics of BlackSheep.

Love you all and don't take it too personal...Just needed to get that off my perky chest ;)

Blacksheep Concert @ The Knitting Factory

You ever had a friend invite you somewhere and not show up or call?
Pisses you off right?
Wanna punch her in the eyeball when you see her next time?
Or maybe pull his testicles through his nose with a tweezer cause you all gussied up and have to stand around looking like a kid on a milkbox?
I know that's quite extreme but sometimes its sooo inconsiderate in this day and age where cell phones are free after nine. Not to call. Or even worse to call after and ask your mad ass "how was it?".

It was all good cause Mos Def was there. I spent a lot of time being a little nuccaratti.

So anywho...I go to plenty of places by myself and went to see Blacksheep @ the Knitting Factory curtesy of Candy Girl and Hustle Mode. How could I resist? I mean really...we all Picked it up and jumped as high as we could in a club and it was perfectly acceptable. I would jump even now with my knees finally showing the wear and tear from my years rowing crew in Temple. (Don't ask why my little 5'2" ass was rowing crew with 6 foot white chicks, like a fool trying to be Rob Lowe in Oxford Blues. Chalk it up to too many MadDogs on a late night with nuccas chanting "You can do it" ala The Waterboy.) The Choice is Yours was one of the best records of 91-92. Damn if I didn't get excited everytime I heard it. Back when Spandex was still in. We didn't hump each other back then. Dancing was not let me turn around and grind my ass real good so I can make this nucca hard and maybe he might want me. Nah...It was let me impress this dude with my knowledge of dance steps and if he can keep up, we'll go get a cup of juice and exchange vibes. It was a magic music moment in time when it was really all good even though there were Potholes in My Lawn and My Buddy understood when it was Just Another Case of that ole PTA. I get flashbacks of driving back to NY from Temple with Kyle and knowing all the lyrics to the albums released by Tribe Called Quest, LOTNS, Jungle Brothers, and De La Soul. Kyle was very impressed.

Got caught up in a personal moment. But I warned you this would happpen right?

So there were some really good opening acts.
This singer, St. Jus was incredible. The girl could blow. However, apparently she can't be found on normal web search engines for me to provide you with more information. Since I was trying to be cute (and it worked), I didn't bring my trusty notebook to write down all of song listing...So it's all from memory...and lord that ain't saying much....

This chile sang such an accurate version of Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit that I was completely astonished. Remember the weird nasal psychedelic song?

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

It was crazy. This white guy Aaron did a beatbox for the background and I was completely entranced.



Did I mention Mos Def was there?

Medina Green was also very good. He started his set with a song about his father. It was very endearing. I mean most rap songs I hear emphatically wish their fathers were never born. The rest of his set was good but then I found myself saving a white girl from this character:
He had called himself trying to hit on me. But I'm too used to dealing with crazy fools in a club. Sad but true. I see crazy a mile away. Sometimes it can disguise itself but most times you can see the demon all over 'em. So dude soon realized that he was getting nowhere with me. His pickup line was that he was a photographer. With a disposable camera? Get outta my face man before I kick you with these 4" Candies!

So a little while later I go to the bathroom and he's following behind me with this obviously drunk young white girl. He barks at her to hurry up and she's looking so confused. As soon as that door swung shut, I asked some questions and after realizing that she didn't know that fool, I stepped in and told her to leave him alone. She was so thankful and she asked to hang around with me until he would leave her be. I was like of course..and the coocoo bird was shooting me mad dirty looks. Did I mention I went alone? Sometimes I put myself in crazy postions! but at some point a tree asked me if I wanted a drink and after spending time with the tall dude, I noticed she disappeared. Last I saw, she was leaving and the fool had her arm in lock. I hope she don't come up missing.



A coupla others performed: Prizm was actually very good


Dude gave good face... I meant the pose... you nasty folks!





My baby was there






And he waved at me! What a lucky girl I am.

Here are the rest of the pics and Click here for the article in allhiphop.com.