Monday, June 05, 2006

Scribe's Takeover's been a month since Scribe and I met. I was going to write my update last night but I found out he had done it already on his blog. His update is so sincere...and I know he means it....I'ma post it on mine because...well because I want to LOL....

Scribe is the kind of man I wanted....

Fly you for free down to Florida because he can't do without you-Man

The wake you up early just he can snuggle with you- Man

Go to store and get everything you need just as you asked for it-Man

Doesn't want to come over late at night through the backdoor in my bedroom but would rather come at a decent hour to be of some assistance when I get home from a 9 hour workday and a 3 hour commute and have to do a million things with the children-Man

Gives you money to keep in your house in case you need anything- Man

Is never afraid to express himself-Man

I could go on and on...but I'm sure that maybe Ms. Tee knows what I mean...or maybe The Muse...Jamie has one of those type of men....and I'm sure Sarcasstik and DP are those types of men.

It may be early...I understand that....It's only been 6 months since the twins were last in contact with a man I was involved with...and that was totally my fault. But before that? 2 years...Believe me...they were wondering if something was wrong with their mommy LOL....

Bottom line is I'm a package deal. One of the things that made me break-up with Raw for good was the twins expressing themselves that Raw was there for me and not for them...That hurt. As a result, I did not introduce them to anyone who I didn't feel was worthy. The Lion never met my kids. Honey was able to be around them because he had past experience. Ok so we just went back over 5 years of my life.

Scribe wants the package...not just the milk. And from what he has told me about his marriage...I know that it's not hard for him to accept the fact that I have two children. Shoot he was raising 4. And none were his.

Now I am seeing Scribe....and I don't plan on stopping. This is causing alarm. It can't be helped now. But when I come back from will all be stopped...I am nipping all kinds of mess in the bud...

When you read this man's words....please know that I have heard them straight from his lips...and I have seen them in his actions...therein lies the difference...

Here's the Scribe takeover:

Alone in Orlando

Just got into Orlando today, woke up this morning dreading my flight (which my ears are still recovering from.).. I’m not afraid of flying, I just didn’t want to leave Diva and the kids. I feel like I just got a little closer to the kids (one of them told me they didn’t want me to leave…it took everything in me not to break down…I’m kinda sensitive when it come to love from kids…), she and I have been enjoying the hell out of each other, and now I’m leaving them all for a week. That sucks. But Diva will be here on Wednesday (YES!!!). In the cab ride to the airport I broke down and cried. I feel like my life really is moving forward at a pace I have not experienced before. I feel like I’m progressing in my life in a way I have not experienced. You ever felt something so good you never wanted it to end. And it made you feel, stronger, happier, and frightened all at the same time? That’s my life right now. It feels so good.

I took a stand at my other job just to make it to this conference. The Harlem foster care agency where I work implements a system of usury on its employees. It’s the kind of place that you could work 20 years for and be lucky if you got a certificate of recognition. Sometimes you have to make choices. Basically, they will bleed you until you have nothing left. The choice I made to come here came at a little bit of a price. But I’m willing to pay that price because the opportunities that may arise from this conference offer a great return. So I’m praying I’m able to network with the right people. At the very least I want my boss/mentor/friend to be proud of the job we did as a team in making this conference successful.

Diva prayed with me before I left. She prayed for my safety. She prayed for my success. Now I want to pray for her:

Lord please protect my baby. Please keep her in your loving hands. Please protect the twins and keep them secure. Please keep her secure in my love. Please deliver her safely to me here in Florida.

I have to do something to impress on Diva’s family that I am not a typical negro. At the same time, I want them to know that I am not here to take from Diva. I am not here to hurt Diva. I am not with her to gain access to her insight. I’m here because she treats me like a man should be treated. I know its early, but I really want them to see the level of dedication I have for this family. For a man who values love and family as much as I do, I fight the urge to scream…CAN’T YOU SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS WOMAN AND HER FAMILY!!! But of course, they can’t, because, in truth, they don’t know me.

She and I believe that time will be our best friend... I’m praying that it will be theirs too. I have to break the habit of believing that people trust as easily as I do. It really doesn’t happen like that with most people. My problem is that I get pissed when someone takes me as disingenuous. I’m 33. The days of me running around conquering as much pussy as I can are o-v-e-r. I want one woman to dedicate my time, effort and love to.

You know her as DJ Diva, for me she so much more than that. To me, she represents promise, prayers answered, the upliftment of my spirit….please….I could go on for paragraphs. Lord, please impress upon Diva’s friends and family…

I am not…

Shiftless, scandalous, or trifling. I am not typical, lazy, bitter, judgmental, or a liar. I am not a cheater, wife-beater, or possessive (um…hold up….nigga, if you holla at my girl on some “can we talk” shit…I’ll fuck you up…straight music.) Nope. Not playing.

I am…

A strong black man, god fearing, in need of lots of love, dedicated to working, dedicated to Diva and family, sensitive to being misjudged, loving, kind, considerate, not perfect.

Back to the conference…….We set up tomorrow…lots of work to do. Tuesday the students arrive, my man is greeting them. He’s open about that...he plans to slay a whole campus full of women before we leave here….

Me?....I’m just looking forward to Wednesday!.....: )

(I'm looking forward to Wednesday too baby!)

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