Why?

I did this months ago...Kinda in conjunction with Jadakiss' song (can we call it a song? Isn't it a rap? But then that sounds weird too...Somebody enlighten me)

The above picture is of Me, C and Club Buddy Jay...7/15/03....We had just seen Kindred The Family Soul at Le Bar Bat....(place always gets shut down) We had been downstairs in the Bat Cave...dancing in that hot sweaty basement...But as you can see...we had a ball...Jay is soo funny...C had to let out a belly laugh...Shiiit...that man made me sweat out my weave something awful......but I had to give yall a visual....U'll see later in the WHY???

WHY?

1. did it feel so good to stay in bed all day Saturday? Because my ass partied all night Friday. Well not all night...My old ass needs to be in bed by at least 4...But I went to karaoke at a new spot with Ellis...I won't lie...Str8 DIVA....Thigh high boots...mini with ruffles...corset shirt...All black topped off with a lavender fur (rabbit) jacket...Don't murder me...I didn't take the camera....But it was hot...I went over to my spot afterwards...and wouldn't you know they were having a Mel'issa Morgan listening party/ mini Concert...I was like BET! I didn't expect to do much dancing...As a matter of fact...Brenden...That fine ass bartender(that's an old pic)...said I looked too pretty to be there (again...why have I never said yes to him?)...He was right...but I had a few Chivas Regals...and mellowed out...Walked around and ran into.....Club Buddy Jay...

2. (insert the why) do my club buddies and I always yearn for more? I met Jay while in a relationship with the Angry Dwarf...Jay was/is fine...I was dancing on the side with Lyn and he was dancing alone...dressed in an off white suit...brown and beautiful..with slanted eyes and beautiful shock of curly black hair..(he's from Belize)...Our eyes met and he asked me to dance...He's about 5'8", but a muscular type of slender....I took his hand and we went out into the almost empty dance floor...It was during the old school portion but it was perfectly fine with me....Oh we moved so well together.....We sat and talked over drinks....he and I both pouring out our frustrations with our respective relationships. That night we felt as if something special happened....Alas...I was not ready to leave the AD...So we contained ourselves to just dancing and talking on those occasions we would both be in the same place...no hanky-panky...But knowing what I know now about the dwarf .... in the words of Keyshia Cole...I SHOULD HAVE CHEATED!!!!! But I'm a good girl...Anyways....

3. (Y)? did I dance with him all night again?...I haven't seen him in almost 2 years but it was just like we first met 4 years ago....the synchronicity...the laughter...he can get aggressive...and I dogged my share of kisses....We looked so good together...Please don't be mad I didn't have the camera!!!....and it felt so comfortable with him...Jay always gripes about keeping my eyes on him....I don't like to gaze in the face while I'm dancing...causes too much confusion...you dancing...feeling good...looking into each other's eyes?...Then BAM...Next thing you know I'm considering this man as a potential partner...Nope...I know how the game goes...but..

4. didn't I just go with the flow? I mean I'm single now...he's single...What's stopping me now? I guess after Harlem...I had to really cool my jets....I can't chance having to play games with anyone....I have a lot to focus on now ...with the move and school...Graduation in 5 weeks...Did I really want to pick up something new? Nah...like the Jones girl song goes..."We danced and danced"...and I bid him adieu.....but

5. was Mel'issa Morgan so damn good? The girl can blow....And she looked quite good...her First song was Fool's Paradise....I screamed so loud....it was all Jay could do to contain me LOL...Actually he said..."Go 'head baby...sing with her...I know how you feel about her songs.." LOL and he does...I mean we have danced with each other over 50 times...so he would def know :) She sang some new cuts on the album(which I have included for yall on the radio blog for tomorrow) and then Freddie Jackson came out.....Lord have mercy

6. did Freddie look so strange? He lost a lot of weight...and was humping Mel'issa on the stage...yall really had to see that shit! Then she got to her last song...

7. did I want to kill myself for not having the camera??? She sang "Do, Me, Baby".... and swaying in time with Jay was nice...Man she really does sound just like the record...No change in her voice....Sigh...It was nice....So nice that I broke my longstanding rule and gave Jay a kiss...Nothing serious...Just a quick peck...His eyes popped open so wide...then we spent an hour in the reggae room...He loves reggae...and believe me...I put it on him...Nookie Nookie LOL....then I noticed an ex-club buddy lurking around....intentionally not looking at us....

8. did I then take Jay up to the stage? I'm a stage dancer...but usually solo....We danced along the back wall and who came up to watch? The Lurker....that was fun....Funny...the song was "Goodies"...and for a brief moment...all of my video watching took over...I mean you ladies know what to to do when you have a man up against a wall right? The Lurker stood to the side...and for another brief moment...our eyes connected...and I smiled because he and I both know...he will never get to dance with me again...and he had to stand there and be jealous...HAHA...

9. didn't I get some McDonald's on the way home? I had such a hangover Saturday morning....I left Jay at the club...with no further contact information......Even if he's single....And I can't add extra stress right now....As you can see...it really was hard for me....I really do like him....but I'm leaving NY in 7 months and I don't want anything that's gonna try and keep me here.....Fool me once? Shame on you...Fool me twice? Shame on me!..Another one of my Grandma's sayings....I had enough of the "Shame on me" with Harlem...so I guess I could also say "Once bitten, twice shy".

And that my friends is my revised WHY??????

Why am I wondering if I should do a week of "Club Buddies"? LOL...So much to tell...LOL

POSTSCRIPT: He called while I was posting this...that's what i get for having the same cell number for almost 4 years...hmmm should I continue this in a part 2? lol