Friday, August 11, 2006

N*gga Moment #56

Yes I have had quite a few moments since my last N*gga Moment post.

Scribe and I have been together a little over three months and we have had to deal with everyone hating on our relationship. From family to neighbors to the ex-husband and the ex-wife...hell even ex boyfriends....Our love affair is apparently irking the shit out of everybody....Most of it has calmed least on my you can see from Scribe's latest post "The Bullsh*t"...he's still catching it. And I right there with him...being there when he needs to vent...listening quietly as he blasts obscenity laced rap songs with lyrics like "Just go ahead and shoot the n*gga then!"...That one made me stop in my tracks and look at Scribe as he recited verbatim....I laughed and walked away....

Cause I know where that comes straight laced we have to be everyday and how your gentle persona can be perceived as a your education can be a hindrance in that you can see through the one person can despise you at your place of employment and contrive on a daily basis to make you life people who's shit ain't together can somehow have an impact on YOUR raise and YOUR review...yet you have no input to say how they continually fuck up.

I'm cursing....because I'm mad....

Tell 'em why you mad son!

I was told during my review that one Senior Mgr felt I needed to be more proactive. I was like what did she mean by that? It was then relayed to me that I never come and ask her for work....

R U Fucking Kidding me?

I have to ask you for the work you want me to do when I have 5 other Senior Mgr and a Partner that I support as well?

You've got to be shitting me.

Ok so what does Diva do? Diva becomes more proactive with this person. She only works two days a week but I make sure I ask her in the mornings that I see her...if she thinks she'll be requiring any type of assistance that anything coming down the pike that I should be aware of (whitespeak)..etc...

Monday morning I asked her...and quite flippantly she says that a big tax return for a client is due...I'm like ok well let me know when it's ready for processing and I'll block some time off to take care of it. It takes at least 2 hours to make sure the return is done properly.

When is the tax return due yall? Thursday...

When did she give me the return? Thursday at 4:30pm

So immediately I'm a little pissed. I have already signed on to do a job that was going to take me all the way till 5pm...Quitting Big Boy said in "Margarita":

"5 o'clock
when I stop?
at four fifty nine

that is somewhat my motto because it takes me over an hour to drive home....and I hate traffic...I like to just go ahead and get it over with...Ask me to come in early? I'll do it...Ask me to come in on a Saturday or Sunday? I'm there...But after 5...I hate it...

So anyway...I get the return and it turns out that she has left instructions for processing...

Just not to me...

So I have to go back and make special changes etc.,....I have already made her aware that UPS does it's last pick-up at 5:45....So she takes her sweet time reviewing it and calls me in at 6pm telling me it's ready. When I go to her office to pick it up...she hands it to me and says:

"Ok run Diva"



Do I look like Kizzie to you? Forrest Gump maybe?

I'm a grown ass woman with two kids just like you.

A degree just like you.

How dare you tell me to run? Are you stupid? And you have the nerve to say that in front of other people?

I wanted to throw the box right in her face.

All of these things were conveyed in the look I gave her. And from what others have told angry looks are lethal. Deadly.

I turned and looked at this woman...who was of the Caucasian persuasion....and said:

"I ain't running nowhere. They probably already left. I hope this package gets picked up but I'm going home."

And I stalked out of that office hear me? LIVID...Smoke was probably coming out of my ears, nose, mouth and asshole.

All the way home I kept saying to myself:

"Run? This bitch must be out of her fucking mind! Did she really tell me to run and do something? Nah man she didn't say that shit...I know that bitch is crazy. She don't know me man...I'll quit over some shit like that. I don't give a fuck. I never have a problem finding a job. Ever! Shit I don't even wanna be driving for 2 or more hours a day anyway! Fuck that. Fuck this. Fuck her."

Yelling, cursing and venting to myself all the way home. Playing the new Styles P "Who want a Problem Huh?" (Thanks Scribe) while envisioning the satisfaction I would have gotten from throwing the return in her face...

I was all ready to vent to Scribe about it when I got home. He's great for that sort of thing. He's patient, receptive and since we basically do the same thing...he knows what I'm going through. To be anybody's have to punk yourself. and there's no other way to put it.

You will be punked. Period.

When I got home the house was dark. I heard the Yankee game playing in the bedroom. Scribe was stretched out fast asleep with Tyrone at his side. He looked so peaceful...he had a hard day too and was so frustrated he left early..came home and went to bed. All thoughts of venting went out of the I stood over him...just watching him sleep...he began to open his eyes...I sat next to him and he looked at me and the first words out of his mouth were:

I love you baby

He had no idea what I had been through...knew nothing of what had occurred...but was able to tell me exactly what I needed to hear. There could be no doubt as to why I love this man. As I told someone reacts towards you when they are awaking is similar to how they say a drunk expresses themselves when inebriated. Truthful...My ex-husband woke up fighting and swinging every morning....This man loves me in his sleep as well as when he's awake.

When he fully woke up I told him all about it...but the anger and venom was gone. Wrapped in his arms I regained my respect...showered with his kisses made me soft and pink again.

The N*gga moment passed. Thank God for that!

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