Do you really? (convo with my desktop)

DJ Diva: Computer...what's up...long time no see...

My computer: yeah..yeah...You and them laptops got cozy and you forgot about me...what you want?

DJ Diva: Well you really are the kids computer and I know they use you for school...and since I dropped that drink on your keyboard...I been kinda shy about coming back...

My computer: Yeah well...I'm allright now that Scribe bought that new keyboard and mouse...

DJ Diva: But if you all right then why you moving so slow?

My computer: I'm moving slow because you have too much shit on your C hard drive. I been telling you that for years but you don't listen....and I'm getting old and I'm tired of being fat...

DJ Diva: Damn, Scribe and I need my old school music...so what do I do?

My computer: I don't know what to tell you. You need to delete some shit.

DJ Diva: Well I'll look at all of your folder sizes and delete some stuff from that.

My computer: (*huff*) Sounds good to me. I'm tired of carrying the weight.

DJ Diva: Computer! Computer!...

My computer: What? Shit...stop yelling...I'm tired...

DJ Diva: I found a huge folder...Man it's big...It's named Ska...it's at least 500 MB and the last time it was updated was 2002...surely I can delete it and you will feel better!

My computer: Uh...no. You can't do that...That folder was put here by your ex-boyfriend...you don't have the rights to do that. Find something else to delete.

DJ Diva: What? I haven't been with him in over 2 years...why wouldn't I have a right?

My computer: He gave you this desktop. He is still the administrator. You must contact hm for the rights.

DJ Diva: Bullshit! I ain't calling that a$$hol-io...I'll be right back...Let me look for a solution on my Thinkpad...

My computer: whatever...I'm going back to dragging ass...



Minutes later...



DJ Diva: Computer...I cracked it. I assigned myself adminstrative rights and I got in to look at the folder.......

My computer: Huh? What?...Oh you got in?

DJ Diva: Yeah I did...

My computer: Why the long face? What did you find?

DJ Diva: I found...............500MB of porn! All young white women...

My computer: Of the X rated variety? Long movies I presume...

DJ Diva: Yes...no...just pictures...just nasty.....theres so many.....disgusting...my stomach hurts this shit is so gross....

My Computer: What are you going to do?

DJ Diva: Wait for my next command.

My computer: You have selected a folder named Ska and all of its contents for deletion. Do you really want to do this?

DJ Diva: Yes.

My Computer: Do you really want to empty the contents in the recycle bin. Permanent removal?

DJ Diva: Already done.

My computer: Whew I feel so much better! What was that you and Scribe wanted to listen to?

DJ Diva: Let's start with some Jodeci.....