Cat Bloggin

Yeah I packed my shit and I'm outta here...I'm sick of this shit! SHE stay on these damn computers all day long...reading and writing...Now her ass is up and I'm leaving her this goodbye note:

Dear Bitch,

I'm leaving u...I'm tired of not being first in your life anymore...I can't compete with Honey...as u love to call him...I know I kissed him when he first got there..All them other niggas had to be taught a lesson...so I scratched all of them on purpose.....But I had the uncanny sense that Honey was a cat too...that's why you talked to him about being a "Lion" right? Or a Leo? Or some shit you said...but now that Honey's around...you ignore me...I used to be able to sleep on the rug in your room...Now when he's here...You kick me out! Me...the one who rubs you and meows at you constantly...Those meows are I love u's Bitch!...But no...because he can say it in Human?...You love him more! And he gets to sleep with you...You always kick me out of the bed...and I was here first! You cook him all these great meats...and put dry food in my bowl....Sometimes you forget the damn water! I thought you would realize that my heart was broken when I stoppped covering my piss in the litter box....I had the stupid idea that my scent would bring you back to me....But you got mad and spanked me and threw me back in the box to cover it...I did it...but my heart wasn't in it....

Don't get me wrong...I like Honey....He cleans the house really good..But he must have some kind of hold over you...You don't come to kiss me no more...I have to jump in your lap while you on the toilet and kiss you by force...what kinda shit is that?...It's like you forgot you were mine bitch! I don't get mad when you leave me all day...but even when he's not here you're always doing something and you just ain't got no time for me...

And those kids of yours...Jesus, Mary and Josephus! Who's get did you spawn them from????? I could give you children if you let me...but noooo.....Those two girls terrorize me at every turn...put dresses on me and shit....I'm a man...A strong virile tomcat...but yall don't see that....

So I'm out of here...Keep that other Lion you got and I hope he spray your bed!

BYE BITCH!

Tyrone

Yeah bitch my name is Tyrone...Yall been round here calling me Kitty and Puss and Boots and shit...that's why I be biting your ankles!

I ain't nobody's pussy!

ONE! My cousins and nem is waiting for me in the backyard...

This "Cat Blogging" episode is dedicated to LadyLee (recently lost her Lil' Head) and James & Jaimie (Whose cats are trying to ruin Christmas and steal James' beer)

And all yall other cat lovers out there!