Somebody's Watching Me

“I'm just an average girl with an average life
I work from nine to five, hey hell I pay the price
But I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone

I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
And I have no privacy
I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
Is it just a dream?”


Disclaimer: I warned you weekends would be personal….This is a long post with related thoughts and a big blogger POW at the end…I would like comments on this…so if you read it after the fact…please feel free to share your thoughts…


I been in “blogworld” for a year now.

Some strange shit has gone down.

I’ve always kept it real…without shouting people out. Never really exposing people…keeping errthing on the down low.

If you are a well-read reader of my blog…you can pretty much figure some shit out.

(Sorry I’m in the middle of a rum and coke and working on that R. Kelly Supermix…so forgive the profanity…but I’m speaking str8 from my head now.)

But back to it…

Like I said…if you went back in the archives you could probably figure out:

Who the “The Light” was…

That I had a rough time with someone on this blog…I called her an internet stalker…but I’ll come clean about that at another time…She has still been reading my little old blog…and I’m actually glad about that…I don’t hold animosity toward anyone…and understanding my part in the fiasco that occurred between her, “The Light” and myself…..I appreciate the fact that she still enjoys my voice without talking about my sagging tits ;)

(by the way…they really don’t sag…she was just mad at me LOL)

I’ve talked about some really ill shit…

But now I’m talking to you on a serious tip.

I get a lot of blog traffic. Most of it is because I have that damn picture of Beyonce giving Terrance Howard a lap dance. People from all around the world…My site meter locations page has some beautiful flags. I accept that. I love it in fact…

When you google, or MSN Search, Yahoo search “DJ Diva”, I’m on the first page.

That astounded me yesterday when I tried it. I mean…I thought that’s what I wanted…when I started…the blog was on the 10th page…BOOOO (prodigal sun, 2005)

But then that alerted me to something….a loss of privacy…I mean all my pages were up,,,my photo page…the first chapter of my book about my time in that cult…articles I wrote for the paper…I was even connected to the photo page showing all those nasty folks at the ski trip I went to this year…

…yeesh…errrthang…

I think I fixed that…but we’ll see…I’m glad I’m moving soon….

But now I have a bigger conondrum

You see…although I fully understand that blogging can be anonymous…and folks read me that I may never know about…Hell I read some people and never tell them…I have my reasons…

But if I become a regular reader of someone’s blog…I always let them know I’m there…I don’t comment as often as I should….But I usually keep up…And I may comment on archive ish…but yall know that already..

What I’m saying is I always comment on a blog that I regularly read….

But here is some strange shit that went down recently…


This summer I dated a well-known blogger, who I nicknamed Harlem, for a very brief period of time…He has a lot of female blogger friends…One very best friend in particular…I know they speak and hang out very often…as evident on both her blog and his…I scanned her blog once…but I never went back…I just thought it would be too weird…Harlem and I ended back in September…as you can see in my archives…I haven’t mentioned him again…

So last week I went to a blog on my bloglinks…to someone who happens to be a very loooong time physical (not cyber) friend…Somebody I hang with…our children play together…BBQ’s…you get it…In her comments, Harlem’s friend said that she came to my friend’s blog from my blog….So she’s been reading me all this time? And she never said a word…not a hi or nofin….just reading it…(Yall got all that?)

That makes me feel weird yall…like I mean maybe this blogging shit is way too serious…considering she already knows who I am…I know that she knows what went down between me and Harlem…the fact that she (still) reads me makes me feel funny…and that she reads w/o saying a word makes me feel like WTF? Are she and Harlem discussing me? Does she report back to him my posts? Or am I just nuts? I mean not one comment from her ever…strange….

I have a friend of 20 years who reads and doesn’t say anything…That’s cool…I chewed her out…cause she’s a blogger now….and then she left one…I was excited!!!! And she never has to leave another…besides I knew she was reading anyway…

I send plenty of folks to my site who don’t comment and that is cool…

For those of you who may not know…there are some pretty big blog folks out there…who attract a lot of people to their sites…I’m wondering how many of them are reading me and not saying nofin too? I mean I was just curious…

So maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill…and I’m just freaked out….but hence the reason for wanting to start another blog (haven’t completed the design yet)

Cause this just feels weird…..