Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Wade in the Water

Missed me?

I missed yall…

Missed you so much I have an extra long post for ya!

It’s really personal…I’m warning you now.

Some big tings a gowon!!!!

"No thing, No money, No sin, No temptation I'm talkin' bout loving" - Unbreakable (A. Keys)

I promised to talk about Wade(Wade in the Water)(read the lyrics and you'll understand his nickname)…but don’t you want to hear about Brother Darkness in my favorite class? Or even how I lowered my Aries Ram's horns and spoke to Harlem first? My pride or should I say ego can be humongous at times.

Ok I’ll go with Wade. We met about three weeks ago…Matter of fact I wrote this post a week later…Confliction with Christianity. It’s actually pretty prophetic…you’ll see later in the post…I’ll remind you…

So.. Thursday night September 1st I went out with Sassywow to Flow's Thursday night…that’s a separate post too…She talked about it a little on her blog...Diva was a little scandalous...3 numbers in that spot alone...no intention of calling anybody…But I got a little extra tipsy…and went to my favorite club to dance it off.

I’ve said it before…I dance by myself majority of the time…I hate grinding…unless it’s with somebody I know. LOL Dance buddies…how funny… I might write about those in a “Back In The Day” post…

So I’m on the stage. I was enjoying myself yall..I love dancing up there…prevents men from approaching me LOL So a guy comes up to me and is very respectful in his request. The Ice Princess granted it (did you ever read this poem?) He began to talk to me and his voice is real soothing. Until he said he was a Pisces. Stop. Hold up. What did he just say? Pisces? Hell no! And I told him so. Right on the dance floor! I said, “Nice meeting you but it’s not gonna work.” He said, “Because I’m a Pisces?” Hell yeah cause you a damn Pisces! The guy I wrote the Ice Princess poem to for Valentine’s Day, brought me diamond and platinum earrings and disappeared. I kept the earrings LOL.

Now you guys know that I pay attention to signs. I can’t help it. I haven’t been wrong yet. BD? Aquarius just like my ex-husband. Too damn competitive. Harlem and Lion? Leos...Extra proud with fan clubs…they can’t help that women are drawn to them and I respect that. Men are drawn to this feisty Ram too. But still too much for me. Ego trippin. A Pisces? Hell No! Those fish are off the hook (pun intended). Seriously..I’ve been with them before. They quick to swim away. The Indian was a Pisces. He packed his bag so many times and came back, that I changed the locks on his butt.

So I tried to get away from Wade. He chased me. I spouted lines like “It’s not gonna work” and “We will not be together too long” and of course my standard, “Believe me, I know what I’m talking about”. He wouldn’t give up. We danced as I drank 2 bottles of water. Even danced to my favorite club song “Just Us”. He begged and pleaded. Finally, I was sober enough to drive all the way back up to Westchester at about 1am. Wade follows me to the door. He says “Can I please have your number so we could talk at least?”. I looked him dead in the eye and said, “ Are you in any type of relationship with a woman whether it be committed or uncommitted?” You have to understand, I don’t want any type of drama at all! None! He assured me he was completely single. Numbers were exchanged. And he lives too damn far!

A few days pass and he calls. I forgot what the brother even looked like. Well I knew he was at least cute. I have good taste most of the time when I choose dance partners at my club. I’m legendary LOL But I really couldn’t picture his face. 2 Sex in the Showers equal foggy brain. Added with fact I really wasn’t thinking about him. So we talked and discovered nice things about each other. He’s 37, single, lives alone, no children, and a working man. Things are looking bright. We continue to talk and discover we both are Christians going to church. Ok. Right. We both in the club but still claiming Jesus. I know it sounds crazy and ludacris…but seriously…I do believe in the “Straight and Narrow” dude. And the scripture says “Drink but be ye not a drunkard” so I’m good! LOL

Within a few calls sex is brought up and I made sure to let him know I wasn’t looking for a sexual relationship. Brother man took it a step further and said he was waiting till marriage to have sex.



I was floored. I mean this is what I said I wanted right? A relationship with a man without sex involved, ultimately leading to some type of serious relationship. Right? It’s one thing when you say it. It’s another when it’s looking you in the face.

He asked me could he come to my church. My church? I haven’t taken anyone there since my ex-husband. I’ve asked folks to come for various occasions but never really pursued it. But he was asking me and I was a little taken aback. I was raised in this church so believe me word would get around. (My grandfather called my grandma 4 times after service to tell on me, The church mother called her twice….LONG DISTANCE)

I said yes.

I figured what the heck? Public place. Granted I would have the twins but since I had already decided to date him, the twins could handle meeting one of my friends. They know that Mom has male friends, but they don’t see any forms of sexual contact or God forbid a man coming out of Mommy’s bedroom in the morning.

And this is what I wanted. Right? A man to spend time with me and my kids. And with me in church.

I also needed to see what he looked like LOL

Church begins and he’s not there. Ok. I’m cool. 20 mins later I feel eyes burning in my back. I turn around and Wade is sitting there. He was drop dead gorgeous. This was the man I been talking to for a week? Wow. Ok. Diva reached around and patted herself on the back LOL. Light bright, beautiful skin, dimples, and short black locks to the shoulder. He's half Cuban and half Black. Big beautiful brown eyes and grinning from ear to ear. He moved next to me and we enjoyed the morning sermon. Did I fail to mention that he went to his service at 8am first in Brooklyn and then came to my service at 12 in Harlem. Nice. After church he offered to pay for dinner in the church cafeteria. I was too shy. Yes me! I am very shy too. All eyes would have been on me and those bold enough would have come over and asked me questions. That I would have been unable to answer. Wade and I walked with the twins to the ice cream parlor and he bought all of us ice cream. Then we walked to the park, sat and talked. How’s that for a first date?

After talking for another week and a half, I decided to have him over for dinner.I know..I don't let anybody come over! Remember? I cleaned my big ass apartment from top to bottom. Spic and span. And locked up Puss in Boots. He is a very jealous cat and will try to scratch a man’s eyes out!

I made lasagna, a mixed salad, garlic bread and a double fudge glazed chocolate cake. Yeah I threw down in the kitchen. The twins were so sweet. Cleaned up the table afterwards and washed the dishes. He said “Oh your girls are so good!” I knew they wanted to hurry up and get to that cake! LOL Afterwards we sat on the couch and talked, played music on my computer (that I have hooked up to my stereo), and drank some Peach Chardonnay that he brought over. I burned him a cd (I’ll put it on DJ Diva Reviews). He wanted to dance with me but I was too shy. I tried but I was so nervous.

So there you have it. Wade in the Water. C says that I always look for faults right away so I have an excuse to run. I am a runner too. First sign of trouble and I’m flying down the opposite direction. My patience is very short and to be honest, lack of sex has my nerves shot. Very sensitive. I am also very closeted with my feelings and have serious will power over expressing my emotions.

I have found things in Wade that I tried to complain about, but in the end they have all turned into positives so I won’t even share them.

This Friday I’m heading over to his church for a Singles Ministry meeting. Apparently they are going to teach us how to date the Christian way. I sure hope they say we can at least kiss. I love kissing LOL. Saturday I’ll visit his home to watch some movies and hook up his surround sound LOL.

Wednesday I’m even going to choir practice for the first time. Bishop granted me permission before the summer and it scared me so much I couldn’t do it. But Wade affirmed with me that I must follow my heart and if it tells me to sing for Jesus? Then I must do so.

Remember at the beginning when I said that my post on Baldwin’s Confliction With Christianity would be relevant? Well it is. I’m in a spiritual battle now. Baldwin’s conflictions are exactly the same conflictions running all through me. It is amazing how my posts can be like prophecies….It feels like Jesus is saying “Here you go.” I’m thankful that I'm prepared for this period with Wade. My celibate summer taught me serious self control and we’ll become friends at the very least, if nothing else develops. But Lord Have Mercy I wanna jump this man LMAO. He’s offered for me to spend the night with him but I’m sure I'll have to decline. I don’t know if I can do it LOL

Of course I can! See…Confliction

I wasn’t looking for anything and I know I will be in a long struggle with this, but it’s time for me to face at least the possibility of a relationship. He wants me to understand that: “A man that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing." He’s stated his case and declared what he wants but it’s only been three weeks…so we’ll see. Don’t be surprised if I tell you later that he done disappeared…He is a Pisces after all…The currents may change and the Fish may change his course of swimming. Or I could be saying two big little words...who knows...

But for now this is nice.

Pray for me…

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