Monday, September 05, 2005

The End of a Celibate Summer?

It's Monday...Labor Day..I should be shouting with glee, patting myself on the back...all that jazz. Or maybe even laid back on my new couch with my legs up in the air celebrating the end of a long dry(wet?) summer. You may think I'm babbling...or maybe you've read those lines I dropped in among my posts. I'm actually in a rambling mood. My mind is scattered all over the country.

Last Night I was the DJ at a Dominican Party in NYC. You did know I was half Dominican right? Well if you read my father's name? My brothers' names? Yup I'se multicultural like collard greens con platanos on the same plate. I wrecked shop last night! I slammed the Merengue, Bachata, Salsa y Reggeaton. They ate it up. I have one of my playlists on DJ Diva Reviews . Check it out and expand your collection. I'm listening to it as I write this post lol.

Sorry for the detour. I had to get that out. I did say I would stick with the Mixtape Mondays...right?

This post should be submitted for Touchy Tuesdays...but the girls start school tomorrow...and Mommy Diva has class too. I don't think I'll be getting around to it. But I am ready for Worldwide Wednesday( Katrina around the world) and Twin Thursday. (the importance of the PTA).
(Look at me giving out coming attractions lol …Like I have a huge captive audience LOL)

Back to the post. I made the pact with some girlfriends around Memorial Day. We were looking at the state of affairs in our love lives and said, "Why don't we stay celibate this summer? That would be some shit right?"

Celibate-One who abstains from sexual intercourse

We made it. No sex all summer. I did have an argument yesterday with C. So I must also post the following definition (I love the dictionary lol)

Masturbation - Excitation of one's own genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse.

Other than” yes C...I made it too!

Damn I keep rambling...I had a wonderful time this summer. I went everywhere...Harlem Book Fair, concerts, swimming, picnicking, hiking, skating, bowling, movies, dinners, bars, clubs. (Damn I was busy)...
I DJ-ayed at 4 different events and critiqued others all summer lol

I hung out with who I wanted, when I wanted, whereI wanted...You get the point..

I did all of this without a boyfriend. Solo. It was great!

I was always in a relationship of some kind or another... all my life. Diva always showed up with eye candy or at least a tolerable individual. Back on Memorial Day when I made the "Shake It Off" phone call, I said to myself "Fuck It...I can do this...Sex is not that important. And I probably do it better myself" (I could be also saying that to make myself feel better)..

But looking back over this summer..I realize that I learned an even greater lesson. Take my time. Yeah..I know...the old folks always said that...And I did follow it. Most of the time. After the "Shake It Off", I said, “I'm going to take my time. Learn and watch. Listen and take notes.” I took my notebook with me everywhere this summer...and it wasn't just for my posts on my blog...or for writing down to do lists...It was also for my observations of the male character. I realized that I was naive after being in serial relationship mode and needed to go back to school so to speak. Everyone knows I love school right? (weird trait) So I went to man school. I'm not finished with all my classes..but here's my 20 bits so far (I love 20 Bits...I don't know why lol)..

20 Bits

1. Some of them are quite conceited (Brother Darkness)(yeah that was his real nickname...I was trying to be nice)
2. I must look at a man's health (Lion)
3. Kisses can be nice (Harlem)
4. Groping is not. (Tree)
5. You can learn alot by a person's interactions with other people (BD)
6. Desire fades quickly (Harlem) (me)
7. Pretty on the outside doesn't always reach the core (Lion)
8. Distance can be an issue. (Tree)
9.It really doesn't matter if they don't call (Harlem)
10. It really is annoying if they call too much (Tree)
11. Holding up your conversation is important(Tree)
12. Signs do matter (Tree),(BD)
13. Obsessiveness with appearance and not the home is a red flag. (Lion)
14. They really will try to play with your mind (BD)
15. You can sleep in a bed with a man and not do a thing (No.. I'm not telling)
16. You can learn alot from the people they hang around with (BD,Tree,Lion)
17. Spending time without the expectation of sex is really nice (all)
18. I love my own company. (me)
19. I'm not stressed as I would have been if I slept with any of them (me)
20. I'm keeping myself to myself a bit longer. (me)

There you have it. This was actually hard to write. Protecting identities and all. Trying to be nice. I created a new blog...haven't set it up yet. I might join my comrades over in the Bay.
I'm not angry with any of these guys. I'm just really happy that I didn't jump into bed and learn these kinds of things afterwards. I might be really mad right now...instead of optimistic about what's really in store for me. How many horror stories did I hear this summer? “this negro did that…this negro did this”..translated into “That negro got my coochie and now he acting like an ass”. That’s not going to be me. Why complain after you lay down with him? If you had waited…you would have a hint that he was like “this” or could be doing “that”. What is dating really? Isn’t it a selection process? When did it translate into I'm sleeping with you and next month, next year...I'll need to find your replacement? And who or what am I selecting? Another lover? Another boyfriend? Another husband? Is that what I want? I still don’t know so its just best to keep myself to myself. And until I'm sure... I won't be sharing my body...

Yeesh…this is longer than I wanted it to be. And I still have so much to say...about late night phone calls...and innuendos flying like bombs over Bahgdad.

Thanks for sticking all the way through it.

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